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How does the nature of our birth orderКатегория: Psychoanalysis and analytical psychology, Psychology | Просмотров: 1112
Название: How does the nature of our birth order
Формат: HTML Язык: English In families where more than one child, each of them is unique in psychological terms. One of the factors that determines the uniqueness of the child in the family, is the order of birth. Birth, for example, the second falls into a different psychological situation in comparison with the first-born, and generates other psychological characteristics.
Although this is only one of the factors that influence the formation of personality, but considering it, you can better understand some features of the character, habits, problems in society. However, we can not ignore the style of parental behavior, attitudes towards children, the position of the child that are of equal importance. Original child "responsible leader". Man and woman become father and mother, it is due to the first-born. They have no other experience of education, moreover, how to educate themselves. With the first child's parents or repeated parental parenting style, or do the opposite. Educating older child, parents often worry, but I still make mistakes. As long as they get used to the role of parents, the senior has to take the most vigorous attempts to raise the pressure, moreover, it serves as a top aide to parents in the house that usually generates responsibility organization. Lack of experience in education, automatically makes the first-born "experimental." Parents try to do everything right, and the child forms in his perfectionism and conservatism - the desire to do everything, not postponing - correctly. Firstborns tend to be serious, not love surprises, but loving to control the situation, to organize themselves, to keep pace everywhere. Teaching younger, they develop their intelligence, so he had them pretty high, but is aimed primarily to successful adaptation. Determined to win the attention and love of parents, the child tends to meet their expectations, realize their dreams, or their parents enter into a confrontation, conflict with them, committed to doing defiance. In the beginning, all the parents' attention is directed to the first-born, he only learns quickly "adult language" and prefers the company of adults peers. When a brother or sister, and parents start to pay more attention to the youngest child, he feels "dethroned", jealous, offended and angry or withdraws into himself, that contributes to the formation of authoritarianism and rigidity. In relations with the senior desirable: - Do not criticize or compare, and to ask for help (not ordering); - Make it possible to make a mistake by taking an error with love and humor (not sarcasm), realizing that learning from mistakes; - To encourage the reception of pleasure from the process of participation, rather than compulsory victory. The middle child - "diplomat". Average, to be intermediaries between older and younger. It is easy to compromise, flexible in a relationship, it is easy to find relationships with people, it is easy to adapt to a new team. Attention parents he gets the least, it might make him join the fight for the love of their parents, be curled and jealousy. If the average child is something essentially different from the older and younger, such as it has some unique abilities, or merely the opposite sex. In that case, the fight for the attention of parents begin to older and younger children. Even if the parents seemed to care about all the same, in general, the average children receive fewer resources than others. Not coincidentally, the middle children tend to quickly gain independence from their families, provide for themselves and start their own family. Having been the youngest, middle child soon loses its privileged position. Due to the absence of excessive parental pressure, high expectations, both at the senior and overprotective as a junior, the middle child lives life to himself. It is often quiet, serene and establishes peace between the older and younger. Middle often convinced that the fight allows to influence the outcome of what is happening, because he has a senior who is developing ahead and serves as a benchmark in the development. Who wants to beat, "change the government", and often it turns out that he creates a revolutionary quality, do not recognize the authority. Senior is not always capable of winning the competition with those who followed, and can start, eliminated from it. In contrast, older, younger, and only, as the medium may not be a child. In relations with the average desirable: - Not to compare with the older; - Allow within the allowable conflicts with the senior to decide on their own; - Contribute to the development of its uniqueness. The younger the child - "pet." For younger look after all, all are busy with him, it all helps. Love and attention he receives the most, and this may make it darling, lazy who do not want to make decisions and take responsibility. Junior comes when the educational requirement of the parents has weakened, and they just love, at least, less anxious, but often are not aware, detain him growing up, leave him "her baby." But perhaps considerable pressure on the younger from the older siblings. The need to resist the authority of the senior rebel against his habits, strengths in the nature, quality brings a younger fighter striving for justice. It will search for new paths in some areas of activity, to protect the unjustly oppressed. Junior is ready to take risks, to act in a situation where there is no guarantee of success. He believes that life - is a way to gain experience, and the desire for comfort impoverishes it. But it can often lack the courage to compete to the bitter end, and he prefers to go the other way - choose a different from the other members of the family road. Staying pet, please continue, tends to follow the wishes of the parents it is not so simple. Thus, the younger more opposes the older brothers and sisters who, of course, jealous. Not all manifestations of jealousy apparent to parents. For example, if the senior play with the baby, like a doll, parents generally approve of their behavior. But in fact, the older, thus neutralize a potential competitor, not giving it to rise: they are always ready to help your child to dress or feed him, even though he already knows how to do it myself. The younger will never be a follower, an opponent, coming to replace him, through which he would seek to quickly grow up, to learn something - he not in a hurry, and the character is formed carefree, cheerfulness, optimism, willingness to take someone else's protection. On the one hand the creativity and vision of a non-standard, but on the other hand, the younger may have problems with self-discipline, and difficulties with independent decision-making. Junior knows that the power in the relationship will get you nowhere, so often produces workarounds to achieve their goals, becoming a true master of dialogue, because he has to live in the community elders and learn to build relationships with them. At the same time the school of life junior sternly parents always go toward the child, but the older brother or sister will not be so forgiving, so young have the experience of struggle, often behind the scenes, for their place in the family. The probability of new children with age becoming less and therefore their value increases, parents are beginning to invest more in their children. In aging parents growing desire to devote themselves to the youngest, the last child, in addition to the weak and vulnerable because of their age. Adler are two types of youngest child: 1. tries to prove that he can do everything himself. As a result, he becomes a man, power-hungry, superiority over others. Often he gets ahead of all the other siblings and become the most successful of them. 2. thirsts superiority over older, like the first type, but it lacks the necessary for this energy and self-confidence. And although he is also ambitious, but is afraid of failure, and shies away from competition, it is cowardly, "eternal whiner" looking for a reason to do nothing. In relations with a minor, it is desirable: - To learn independence, self-reliance, rather than a rearrangement of responsibilities at the senior; - Do not protect from everyday worries, to instill diligence and love of work. - Not to save, within reason, from conflict: to teach responsibility for themselves and not to manipulate and hide behind the senior; The only child. There was a child in the spotlight. And as an adult he seeks to occupy the same position, it is not always possible. It usually pampered throughout childhood, it is not adapted to the challenges of independent problem solving. In adult life he often seeks support from other people as it used to receive from their parents and without feeling insecure. The greater the age difference between siblings the less rivalry between them. If the age difference between the children of more than three years can be formed sub-groups that have a significant impact on the ordinal position. Also, children can grab someone else's family position. If, for example, the first child in the family suffering from dementia, it follows it can take on the role of the first-born. Each birth order has its trends and characteristics in common. All common characteristics related to birth order are not unbreakable rules, but merely indicators, factors that must be considered. Data on birth order is taken into account, but it is impossible to regard them as the only truth, and even more so the verdict of fate. Whatever the past experience, we always have the opportunity to change. Eduard Makarenko Illustration of Victoria Kirda Связаться с администратором Похожие публикации: Код для вставки на сайт или в блог: Код для вставки в форум (BBCode): Прямая ссылка на эту публикацию:
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